An open letter to my Harvey Weinstein
I’ve been quiet.
It’s been a big few months, and it’s been difficult to speak up.
And, i’ve been afraid. I’ve been afraid for a long time, even before I met you - I was afraid.
I’ve been afraid I am not enough, that I will never be enough. I’ve been afraid that when people have told me I am wasting my time in this industry, perhaps they may be right.
Then I met you, and developed even more fear.
At first, I was afraid you wouldn’t like me. I tried to sell myself to you, because in my mind, you could change everything for me. I was so afraid I would say something wrong, or embarrass myself.
I wish I never gave you that power, because you saw a familiar look in my eyes, and you used it to your advantage. I had been so desperate to do the work of my dreams, and you had the ability to make that happen for me. Unfortunately in those early days, you also had the ability to take it all away again.
You do this a lot, I think. You find women who are on their way up, you hold them there and make them feel like you are the answer for them to keep rising. But in actual fact, you are nothing without the people surrounding you.
I ignored it for a while, the fact you were using your position of power against me, and against other women.
You wanted to break me - and you nearly did.
But I got away, just in time I believe. I didn’t recognise myself anymore. Everything I had believed about life and people was no longer true. I had become a robot, going through the motions, terrified that everything could come crashing down.
Again, new fears were born. Now I was afraid of what you were saying about me, or the effect you could have on what was left of my career. You have a lot of contacts, much more than I… would I ever be able to work in this industry again? Would I want to?
I was afraid to talk to other women, I didn’t know who was on your side. I was afraid to talk to my loved ones, fearful of receiving nothing but ‘I told you so’ in return.
Fortunately, I didn’t have to talk first. I’ve discovered that there’s only so long an animal like you can get away with preying on woman after woman.
And so here I am, it’s been months and i’ve been listening. I’ve been rebuilding, and I have been healing.
It’s usually at this point i’d look for a strong quote to add power to my words. This time, Harvey, I choose my own voice.
So hear me now..
I will rise again. I am already rising.
When you told me I would be nothing if I left, you were wrong.
When you told me your world is the only world I would live my true purpose, you were wrong.
When you told me I wouldn’t be happy, you were wrong.
You will never, ever hold any power over me again, and even better, you are losing your power over others. Some stories have come out over the past few months, more will come. You will have nothing and nobody left to support you.
Harvey, I am not afraid anymore.
As part of the Women In Film & TV calendar of events, I am organising 'Screw You, Harvey' late February, 2018. All will be welcome and I can promise you it will be a powerful evening with some incredible guest speakers. If you would like more information on this event please sign up to the WIFT Vic newsletter here.